Anal Sex – What You Ought To Know
Different words may come to mind when you think about anal sex like dirty, painful, uncomfortable, ashamed, or unnatural. For others words like fun, arousing, pleasurable, intimate, and exciting might spring to mind. There has been a taboo around anal sex, but that has been changing in recent years. We are starting to see more people gaining sexually mature attitudes and exploring or expressing their sexuality authentically, without shame.
If you are interested in trying anal sex or have had a bad experience, I encourage you to listen to the radio show that I recently recorded for The Sex Ed Show on 91.7 KOOP in Austin, TX (below). In it, we discuss anatomy, some common concerns, hygiene, what to do about discomfort, techniques to help, and some common myths.
Some points to remember:
Use lube. The tissue of the anus and rectum are sensitive, so use lube to reduce friction and avoid causing damage like abrasions and tearing. Use liberally and often.
Anal sex is supposed to be pleasurable, so if you are uncomfortable – change something. You may need to be more aroused, change what you are using, slow down, or add more lube.
External massage is a great way to relax and get ready for anal play. Use one or three fingers to stroke the anus or use circular motions with the thumbs. This can be done with lube to improve the sensation.
If you are worried about hygiene – put down a towel, use gloves, use condoms, and always clean whatever you are using before moving from anal and vaginal intercourse. Also, don’t rush off to the bathroom immediately after. Give your muscles a chance to recover.
Anal sex carries similar risks to other sexual activities, so use protection and be informed about yourself and your partner’s health status.
And as always – Communicate! Check with your partner if you are performing anal sex and speak up if you are receiving it and need more lube or a change in position. Talk before, during, and after to ensure all parties involved are have a good time.
And did I mention – use LUBE!
If you and/or your partner are interested in trying anal sex, it can be a pleasurable addition to your sex life. With communication, patience, and an open mind (and don’t forget the lube) anal sex can be a positive experience. You may be surprised at how much you enjoy it.
As with anything related to sex, consent is important. Like any sexual act, this is something that you should do because you are curious or interested – not because someone is making you.
Anal sex is for anyone, not just homosexual men (a common misconception). Some studies have indicated that the majority of anal sex is engaged in by women and that rates of orgasms are higher with anal sex than with vaginal intercourse.
With better understand and education you can engage in anal sex without pain, coercion, or shame.
