Living An Authentic Life
What does it mean to live an authentic life? How do you know when you are?
Merriam-Webster defines authentic as “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.” Vocabulary.com says authentic “describes something that is real or genuine. “
When something does not feel right to us, it can be a sign that we are living an inauthentic life – living in a way that is incongruent with our values, preferences, and abilities. Even when everyone else thinks our life looks perfect – we feel off balance and out of sorts. This is your life, and you need to live it your way to feel comfortable in your own skin. Living authentically means being ourselves, not just what others think we should be. It is about acceptance, not fitting in with the crowd.
“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day.
It’s about the choice to show up and be real.
The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”
Authenticity does not mean being perfect, it means that you are perfectly you. It requires us to accept our strengths and our weaknesses. It requires us to be accountable for ourselves. Here are actions you can take if you want to live an authentic life:
Be curious. We often take on the values we learned growing up, without questioning if we truly believe them. It is important to re-evaluate what feels right for us and live in alignment to those values. In order to live an authentic life, you have to be clear about what you care about. You cannot be yourself until you know yourself. Being authentic is not something you complete. It is constantly changing as you learn and grow throughout your life, as you challenge your own ideas as well as others, and as you find a way to stop carrying around the baggage of your past.
Be observant. We often feel unbalanced when we are acting inauthentically. Pay attention to the feelings, thoughts, and sensations that occur. They can help you determine when you need to explore how to be more authentic. Also pay attention to times when everything feels right. This will help you know you when you are living authentically.
Be present. Living an authentic life requires that we stop letting the past determine our present. It means quieting (not silencing) the voices from our past that tell us who we are “supposed” to be. It means that you are curious and accepting of who you are now, and continue to explore who you want to be. Everyone is different, so you don’t need to try to be someone else. Authenticity means finding you.
Be understanding. Of yourself and others. People who live authentically tend to respect their own right to have opinions and make choices, as well as respect the rights of others to do the same. They resist external manipulation and pressure because they know what is real to them. They also understand that others may not agree with them or share their point of view. Living authentically means being accepted as we are and accepting others for who they are, not trying to fit in or force others to conform to our beliefs.
Be aware. It is possible to live in accordance with your values and still be socially appropriate. You may use a more professional demeanor on a job interview and then be more laid back while having coffee with friends. You may tell your best friend everything, but act more reserved around co-workers and strangers. You can live an authentic life while still being aware of those around you and how you present yourself.
Living authentically does not mean that life is always easy or fun. You will still encounter struggles and have disagreements. What living authentically does provide is a way out of shame and a chance to have true connection with others. By living authentically, we can look at our experiences honestly and learn from them. We can grow and changes and become the best versions of ourselves.
Living an authentic life has not always been easy, but it has always been worth it. Knowing that I am walking a path I believe in and that those around me know the real me is incredibly satisfying. Even when things get rough or relationships get rocky, I know that I am doing the best I can and living a life that I can be proud of.
Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin.
